COGS

The Okehampton Locker Room

2008-11-23T19:53:00.005Z

Further to the comments re: the scurrilous goings on in the locker room at Okehampton - this was brought to my attention and the culprits were fined.

I was spared the details re: the swarfega (this is an odd choice of material for the purpose in which they were engaged but who am I to comment- it has been legal now over 40 years) but now the the reply, from we believe the culprits to try and bring shame on the only proven Viking in the cogs, that part is nothing but pure fiction to mention or allude to me.

If indeed there was a deposit in existence at all then that was the appropriate place for said deposit. In conclusion if the culprits are to be believed I think I know the perpetrator as he is very fond of leaving his mark in trap number one on a Sunday morning!

Any more scurrilous remarks about the last great Viking will be dealt with by swinging fines!

Yours the Viking

(published by Roy Purlan on behalf of The Viking to allow comments0

A Warning for all COGS.. A Rebuttal!

2008-11-23T19:48:00.001Z

To maintain fair play and verify the truth it is necessary to refute the libellous accusations of “swanking” in the toilets at Okehampton.

The COGS are a tolerant society, as evidenced by the endless hours spent meandering around the golf course enduring the idiosyncrasies of fellow players without a thought of complaining.

But back to the matter in hand-swanking! We have a long tradition of playing at Okehampton but our reputation has been sullied in recent times by certain members engaging in post golf activities with members of the serving staff.

Conscious of the need to re-establish our good name, imagine the discomfort when two of our members returned to the changing rooms, prior to boarding the bus, to find all manner of COGS` regalia scattered around the room.

Surgical appliances, cigar butts and various items of discarded golfing apparel. In addition, someone, possibly of Irish origin, had left a rather nasty deposit in one of the cubicles, hence the need for swarfega!

Our two public spirited COGS tidied the mess and were heard to remark, “ We`ve cleaned up here Grats”.

It can be seen from this account that simple misunderstandings can lead to extremely hurtful comments and it is to be hoped that this incident will be flushed down the pan of history and that the members concerned will be welcomed back into the bosom of the COGS.

Free drinks would go some way to heal the pain although whilst incidents like this may be forgiven they will never be forgotten.

Signed

A Perpetrator

(posted by Roy Purlan on behalf of the "Swankers" to allow comments)

A Warning for all COGS

2008-11-23T19:40:00.002Z

Oh what a joyous experience it is to consort with fellow members during our magnificent COGS Events. Fresh air, vigorous exercise and bonhomie out on the course, with our chums, dressed in our stylish COGS gear of modish blue sweaters combined with black slacks. Nothing wrong in that.

Then back to the club house for an invigorating cold shower and a rub down with our pals before donning blazer and tie, downing a couple snifters and devouring a splendid repast provided by our hosts. What better way of spending our time?

However, we must be on our guard. Temptation is ever present. All-male company is a wonderful experience; away from the restraining influence of those gentle and lovely creatures, our wives. But the sudden warmth of the club house combined with the insidious affects of demon drink can lower our defences.

Now don't misunderstand me. The admiration of our fellow members is quite natural. Who can put their hand on their heart and say they haven't thrilled to the sight of a rampant Roy Purlan surging a full blooded drive off the first tee? Or made sheep's eyes at Dave Morgan as he brandishes that magnificent extended putter of his before sinking yet another birdie? These transient wellings from the bosom are part of life's mysterious pattern; natural enough but to be filed away secretly in one's heart.

That being said, I now have to disclose something rather shameful that has occurred within, what was, our happy little band of brothers.

The witness to this act, who must remain anonymous, was so shocked that he had much difficulty in uttering the words to describe it although I eventually got it out of him. It seems that in the somewhat dim toilets at Okehampton (what a delightful image that name conjures) the culprits were glimpsed entering a cubicle armed with a box of Kleenex and a tin of Swarfega.

My witness was unable to identify them at that stage. However, to his horror, he found himself overhearing an unspeakable act of mutual admiration taking place.

Now I might not be making myself clear so, to be sure of no misunderstanding, I am going to have to resort to blunt language. Yes, they were swanking in the toilet. And at the climax of this gross act one miscreant was heard to ejaculate, "Well we really cleaned up today Grats!" Caught in flagrante delicto, eventually It all came out and the shamed members have paid their fines. I am sure, given time, they may re-integrate into society golf.

We must remember we are all frail beings. As Churchill said of Cripps, "…there but for the grace of God goes God". To err is human; to forgive is divine.

I urge my brother COGS to find it in your hearts to take on the mantle of saintliness, forgive the sin of pride and welcome these lost sheep back into the fold. (This is a metaphore Dave).

Please replace your divots (all of you; not just Roy).

Signed

A Sprocket

(posted by Roy Purlan on behalf of A Sprocket to allow comments)

What should I Blog about?

2008-11-02T22:55:00.002Z

Be a COG Blog Author!

2008-09-01T14:18:00.004Z

Come on you COGS! Join the blog and start uploading your COG comments and pictures now - it's easy!

If you have any problems contact Roy Purlan for some help.

Start creating our history now..................................

Ask Ernie

2008-04-01T21:05:00.001Z

Sent by Tony Pitts for your enjoyment:-

Subject: Ernie Els' Opinion of Tiger

David Feherty:
'People have accused me of being so far up Tiger's ass that he can barely make a
full swing, but I maintain that he is a special person. There's no one else on
the planet who can do what he does or even think of doing what he does. I've
often thought, instead of showing Tiger's reaction to a shot he's hit, we really
should show the reaction of those around him.'

But here is the next best thing. 'I'm walking down the 18th fairway at Firestone
Country Club with Ernie Els and Tiger, who has popped up a three-wood about 40
yards behind Ernie into some wet, nasty, horrible, six-inch rough,' Feherty
says. 'Tiger's cursing and taking clumps out of Ohio with his three-wood...and,
of course, we're not showing this on TV because we want to be able to interview
him later.

Ernie and I walk past Tiger's ball, and it is truly buried.

Ernie is tied with Tiger and he's in the middle of the fairway. I'm standing
with Ernie and my microphone is open. Ken Venturi [in the CBS booth] sends it to
me and I say, 'Tiger's got 184 yards with two big red oaks overhanging the
green. He's got absolutely nothing. With a stick of dynamite and a sand wedge I
might be able to move this ball 50 yards'.

Steve Williams [Woods' caddie] tells me [with a hand signal] that he's using a
pitching wedge.'

'Tiger takes his swing. Every muscle in his body is flung at the ball. It looks
like he's torn his nut sack. The divot went as far as I could hit the ball. I've
got my microphone at my mouth thinking, what the hell was that! The ball sails
over the trees, lands behind the hole and backs up to about six feet from the
flag. I open my microphone and Ernie turns and says, 'Fuck me!'

'My producer comes on in my earpiece and says, 'Was that Ernie?' I say yes. He
says, 'Fair enough.'

'I could have described that shot for 15 minutes and not done as good a job as
Ernie did with two words. This is one of the best players in the world talking,
and you wanna know how good Tiger is? Ask Ernie Els.'

COGS Ahoy

2008-02-13T22:22:00.003Z

Shiver my timbers! Old sea cogs steaming full ahead to dock by March 14th.

Website Updated

2008-02-12T17:46:00.000Z

Hi fellow COGS,

hopefully someone is reading this...?? the website has been refreshed for 2008.

The AGM is now set for 7th March at St.Austell and this years events will be set by that date.

Come on you shy COGS and start posting..... we will not bite!!

Test

2007-10-10T19:59:00.001Z

Hi, this is a test to see if the blog still works........................?????????????????????????????????????????????

Cogs en France

2007-06-30T19:25:00.000Z

It's amazing the places people go while on holiday.

Message for Old Ian on Posting Pictures

2007-06-24T22:16:00.000Z

Hi Old Ian,

Log on to Blogger and follow help links to Posting Pictures. Should be straight forward? I would love to see the ones you have of the French Trip no matter how embarrassing they might be!

Apathetic - as usual!

2007-06-12T09:35:00.000Z

This blog has been 'live' for some weeks now and I suppose I should not be surprised that nobody has posted since mine of May 21st and no one, apart from Roy, has commented on that post either!

The blog is going the same way as the COGS - downhill to extinction.

Hello fellow COGS and thank you Roy

2007-05-21T21:37:00.000Z

A couple of pics of our illustrious president. The first at his dignified best and the second a little less so!

And finally, a word of warning! Never go shopping in the same supermarket as Roy Purlan . . . he puts strange things in your basket!!!

.

Welcome to the new COG Blog!

2007-05-04T20:26:00.000Z

Hi to all COGS,

this is the first blog for all cogs to upload pictures and comments about the cogs or cog events or anything you would like to.

Please sign up and and contribute. Any difficulties please contact me.

Happy blogging...............................